Mr. Salsich's Class
Third Grade Explorations in Learning
The “Tale Trail” – Part 1
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Our collaborative writing project with five other classes, the Tale Trail, starts right here! Last week the classes voted on a topic for the story and the idea with the most votes was “An underground tunnel is found under the school. It takes you to…” We are going to start the story and then Mrs. Yollis’ Class will continue it.
Here is our beginning:
“Ding-a-ling! Ding-a-ling!” The bell that signaled the end of recess rang out over the playground. The students grumbled quietly but their feet marched across the playground into perfect straight lines. All the feet, that is, except for those belonging to two students who stayed huddled behind the big slide.
“Maximilian, we have to line up! You’re going to get us in trouble again.” exclaimed Tiffany, scrunching down behind the slide. “Oh, relax Tiffany. We’ll sneak in right after we investigate that wobbly rock I told you about.” Replied Maximilian. “And my name is Max.” His name really was Maximilian, but nobody called him that except his mom – when she was mad at him, and his friend Tiffany – when she was mad at him.
Peeking out from behind the slide
When the last student and teacher had gone inside the two friends sprang from their hiding place and darted over to the large flat rock that Max pointed to. “This is it.” said Max. “But this rock has always been here.” replied Tiffany. “I know, but I’m almost positive it wobbled when I stepped on it today.” Said Max. “Here, help me try to lift it.” The two friends started to dig around the edge of the rock.
Dirt got stuck in their fingernails, but they didn’t mind. Max never minded getting dirty, and if it was part of an adventure Tiffany didn’t mind too much either. When they had scraped away enough dirt they started to push and heave at the rock. All of a sudden, it lurched to the side and a gust of wind blew up in their faces. Wind? From under a rock? “Now this really is an adventure,” thought Tiffany with a smile.
Moving the rock
“Wow!” Max exclaimed. Wow indeed. At their feet was a large hole that seemed to stretch away under the ground in the direction of the school. “Let’s check it out,” said Max, starting to climb into the dark hole. “Uh, I don’t know Max. What if it’s dangerous?” asked Tiffany. But Max was already out of sight inside the tunnel. “I hope I don’t regret this,” murmured Tiffany as she peered in after him and began to crawl.
At first it was pitch black inside the mysterious tunnel but then a dim light flickered on and off from somewhere in the distance. Finally the light stayed on and they looked around them. The tunnel was made of moist dirt and rocks with little roots sticking out of the walls and ceiling. Max and Tiffany noticed that the air was warm but pleasant, and there was a faint scent of mint. As their eyes adjusted to the dim light they realized it was tall enough for them to stand. The two friends glanced at each other nervously (but excitedly) and then began walking slowly down the tunnel.
Inside the mysterious tunnel
As they got deeper they noticed that the walls began to get smoother and the air was less damp. Then, far off they caught the sound of… something. “Uh, I don’t think we’re alone in this tunnel.” Max whispered. “Yeah, I agree.” replied Tiffany. As they pressed onward the walls got smoother and smoother until they seemed to be made of polished stone. The dim light began to brighten. As they turned a corner their eyes rested on something that made their mouths fall open in amazement. The two friends gasped and stared at the incredible sight before them. “I was right,” murmured Max. “We aren’t alone in this tunnel.”. . .
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Click on the “continue” button to read the next part on Mrs. Yollis’ Classroom Blog. Visit their post to find out what Max and Tiffany discovered in the tunnel!
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May 9th, 2012 at 5:25 pm
Dear Mr Salsich and Grade 3,
The first part of the story sounds interesting and wonderful. Your words made pictures in our minds as we read the story.
Yaksh liked ‘grumbled quietly’
Ganda liked ‘mumbled’
Elizabeth thinks the first sentence hooked us into the story.
Neil liked ‘gasped’
Nikki liked ‘lurched’
Tyla liked ‘huddled’.
Ian liked ‘exclaimed’.
We are looking forward to the next part of the story.
How did you write such a good story so quickly – did you each write some then choose the best bits, or did you write it as a whole class?
from B4 and Mrs McKenzie
May 9th, 2012 at 6:36 pm
Dear Mr. Salsich and class,
I absolutely LOVE the beginning to the story. I couldn’t have thought of a better way to start it out. The two main characters are great. The details to the story are incredible. And I love the way that you left a cliffhanger for Mrs. Yollis’ class to add on to!
The part that I could visualize really well was the tunnel. I could imagine the dampness and the rough walls. I could feel them starting to smooth over when continuing through!
Amazing job!
Sincerely,
Mr. Avery
May 9th, 2012 at 7:07 pm
Dear Mr Salsich and class,
We love the start of the story!! We feel excited about what will happen next…
Wani thinks that there may be a big lake close by in the tunnel.
Temika thinks there is a huge plague of rats waiting to eat them!
Keira thinks there is something giant sleeping in front of them.
Hannah imagined that Max and Tiffany saw the light and heard the whispers.
Ta’ina visualised the rock being lifted and the woosh of air coming up.
Lachlan liked that Max and Tiffany were being cheeky and hiding behind the slide.
Shakira and Rochelle were feeling anxious when the kids lifted up the rock.
Steven liked how you described the walls getting smoother and smoother.
Taliyah enjoyed the description of the tunnel and is waiting for what happens next!
We look forward to reading the tale trail journey! Keep up the fantastic writing!
From 3/4 Henderson
http://misshendo.edublogs.org/
May 10th, 2012 at 1:01 am
Dear Mr Salsich and class,
WOW the TAIL TRAIL part one, how exciting.
I like the idea of the secret under ground tunnel. It sounds creepy but cool at the same time.
I like the first part of the story you guys have put on your blog. Our class in Australia read your story together and we all thought it was very good and also the pictures.
I think it is a great idea of having grades all around the world working together, and it’s a great thing that you can do on your blogs!
Well, by for now.
Clancy
May 10th, 2012 at 1:15 am
Dear Mr Salsich and class,
Hello, I’m Skye from 4KJ, Australia.
Great post! The first part of the story was fabulous. I voted for this story. I thought it sounded mysterious and like it was going to have an adventure in it. Well, I was right, there is an adventure in it.
I can’t wait until we find out what the thing is that Tiffany and Max see. Well, it’s all up to Mrs Yollis and her class to decide what it is. I can’t wait to find out.
I liked in the story how it didn’t just say “said someone”, it said things like replied, exclaimed and murmured.
The thing I could really picture in my head was:
At their feet was a large hole that seemed to stretch away under the ground in the direction of the school.
I don’t really know what will happen next but I think the problem will start.
What do you think will happen next?
From,
Skye ♥
May 11th, 2012 at 8:02 am
Dear Skye,
Your comment was great. I like when you typed …I could really picture it in my head, because I can pictures in my head too. I also liked when you said “I really don’t know what will happen next.” I made me want to read more and more to find out what will happen in the story. I liked your comment.
From,
Hanna**
May 10th, 2012 at 1:20 am
Dear Mr Salsich and class,
Wow what a great start to the Tale Trail. It’s has some great vocabulary in the first three paragraphs. The portraits were great. It was a surprise to see what topic won. You did a good job.
From
Olivia (4KJ)
May 10th, 2012 at 3:39 am
Dear Mr. Salsich’s Class,
I love the story and I look fowart to people adding more to it. Your whole class dicribed it very well. Great job!
From,
Jack
May 10th, 2012 at 5:06 am
Dear Mr.Salsich,
I like your opening of the story, nice drawings!
I liked the part when Tiffany and Max are in the tunnel.
I am very excited about what will happen next!
Great!
Michelle (I am from Beijing, China in 4A.)
May 10th, 2012 at 5:15 am
Hi,
I am from YCIS in Beijing,China. I like you told us how they felt when they were in the dark tunnel. I don’t know what comes next but it is a bit spooky.
Cheryl
May 10th, 2012 at 5:50 am
Dear Mr Salsich,
I loved the words: scraped, murmured, gasped, realised, exclaimed and scrunched.
I could picture all of it! You made it really realistic by making it underneath a rock, as you can often find a rock in a playground.
What will happen next is that they will find themselves with a complete stranger and they don’t know if he is a baddy or not. The cliff hanger you left made me want to read much, much, much more of this story.
All the way from Y4A in Beijing, China,
Abi
May 10th, 2012 at 7:51 am
Dear Mr. Salsich,
I like your story and pictures. Your class wrote it well. And I hope your story is quickly coming to an end. Keep on writing!
From,
Seung Hyun (Y4A)
May 10th, 2012 at 8:17 am
Dear Mr Salsich,
Nice drawings!
I an exiting about what will hapen next but I think it’s going to be scary.
From Y4A in Beijing, China,
Anna
May 10th, 2012 at 9:07 am
Dear Mr. Salsich,
That story was really interesting!
I really enjoyed and I am so exited to see the next story!
From Cindy, all the way from China Beijing YCIS
May 10th, 2012 at 1:21 pm
Dear Mr. Salsich’s Class,
We really loved the beginning of the story. We can hardly wait to see what will happen next. You did a great job of using descriptive language.
Here are a few of our favourite parts:
Kennedy-I like how you described the polished rock walls. I got a really good mind picture.
Ana-I liked the part when they were hiding behind the slide. I could imagine them peeking out just a little bit.
Lily-I like how you described the big gust of wind coming out! I could almost feel it blowing up against me.
Here’s what some of us think might happen next:
Mia-I think a dragon is waiting in front of them.
Quang-I think people from a mine are digging for gold in the tunnel.
Lily- I think that at the end of the tunnel they see a ladder and right beside it there is a crevice with a treasure chest full of mint candy.
Ana-I think that there will be a whole new world with monsters.
Solomon-I think they will see a big and scary bug.
Fantastic job!
Your blogging buddies,
Mrs. W and the 2/3s
May 10th, 2012 at 6:13 pm
Dear Mr. Salsich,
I really liked “Tail Trail” I loved the begining sound (Ding-a-ling) it was very clever. I wish we had a bell instead of a whistle to come in from recess. I also liked the details of the tunnel. I could smell the mint as I read.
What would you have done if you found the wobbley rock?
Your friend,
Joseph
May 10th, 2012 at 7:23 pm
Dear Mr. Salsich,
I like how the class worked on the story together and 4 other classes will do the next parts. I think this will make the story more interesting. I liked when the story said “Ding-a-ling! Ding-a-ling!” for the recess bell sound because when you say it, it sounds like a recess bell. At the end of the story they saw something, and I think they saw a big spider because they were surprised in the story.
Why do you think the walls get smoother when they got deeper?
Your friend,
Chase
May 10th, 2012 at 7:50 pm
Dear Mr. Salsich,
I thought that the pictures were great.
I guess we just have to find out later … Or will we?
I don’t know whats going to happen next, but I know it will probably be good. Because who knows what will happen next? Also the story was great because… hmm uh… Oh yeah, everything! But what if the other people in the world don’t like the story? I’ll try to calm down
From,
Brian .G.
May 10th, 2012 at 8:59 pm
Dear Mr. Salsich,
I have to color my picture in but when I’m done can you put it on the blog? Because I think it is very good even if someone thinks it looks like an alien. But it dosen’t, so I am fine.
I really like all the drawings and the descriptive words. The story was fantastic, but I also really like my story, (don’t worry, I’m not going to share it.) I liked all the great details and all the amazing ideas. I think our class did a really good job. I can’t wait to see the next part of the story, and I also can’t wait to see the problem (not that I like problems, I just want to see the story.) Also, I want to know how Max and Tiffany solve the problem. Also, I want to know who was in the tunnel with them!
I also want Tiffany to solve the problem because she’s smart.
Sincerely,
Maura
May 10th, 2012 at 9:45 pm
Dear Mr. Salsich,
I loved the story and especially the amazing details.
Here are some examples of amazing details that help visualize a clear picture in my mind:
1. “Ding-a-ling! Ding-a-ling!” The bell that signaled the end of recess rang out over the playground”
2. “When the last student and teacher had gone inside the two friends sprang from their hiding place and darted over to the large flat rock”.
3. “Oh, relax Tiffany. We’ll sneak in right after we investigate that wobbly rock I told you about.”
I am so curious about their journey and who else is in the tunnel with them .
What will Mrs. Yollis class add on to this story? I am excited because I think it will be great.
Your excited student,
Carly
May 12th, 2012 at 9:25 am
Dear Mr. Salsich,
I am so excited to see how the other classes are going to add to the story that we started. So far I think that it is very interesting. When I read the whole story so far, I can really picture what is happening like when they investigated the wiggly rock. Hopefully, Tiffany and Max will go on an awesome adventure.
Your student, Jocelyn
May 13th, 2012 at 2:42 am
What a great start to your story, and a super idea to collaborate between classes around the globe! I wonder if you will include any words which are unique to American English/Australian English – I always enjoy spotting them! For example, one of your first ideas when you were choosing your story included ‘sneakers’ – we would wear trainers in the UK. Also you say his mum called him Maximilian when she was ‘mad at’ him – we would say cross or angry. (And you say mom, not mum!)
I wonder if you have read the book ‘The Tunnel’ by Anthony Browne – beautiful pictures and it goes well with your theme! Worth a look.
Mrs M
A Room with a View, UK
May 15th, 2012 at 3:31 pm
Dear Mr. Salsich,
I think that the story is great so far. The suspense at the end is great. The next part of the story was different then I thought it would be.
Mr. Avery’s student,
Bryan
May 15th, 2012 at 3:41 pm
Dear Mr. Salsich and his class,
I love the beginning of the story. I can’t write that good! I like the character’s names as well. Where did you come up with Maxamillion? I can’t wait until everyone is done with the story. It sounds like it should be interesting!
~Hannah
6th grader from Mr.Avery’s Classroom
May 15th, 2012 at 3:50 pm
Dear Mr. Salsich,
WOW! what a great start to the story! your class did an excellent job creating suspense and vivid descriptions, like when max was moving down the tunnel, and you described the walls as,”the walls got smoother and smoother until they seemed to be made of polished stone.”
I am very impressed with this great story. Keep up the good work!
-Wes
May 15th, 2012 at 3:55 pm
Dear Mr Salsich and class,
I think that you wrote a awesom introduction and it fits the topic verry, verry, verry, well. I found lots of good discriptions in your part of the story. Like this…
“The tunnel was made of moist dirt and rocks with little roots sticking out of the walls and ceiling. Max and Tiffany noticed that the air was warm but pleasant, and there was a faint scent of mint.”
I can so picture the tunnel and I can smell the mint right now! I also loved how the verry first sentence pulled you right in. You gave a verry good begining to our awesom story. Good work.
From Kelsea,
from Mr.Avery’s classroom
May 16th, 2012 at 9:49 pm
Dear Mr. Salsich
I absolutely loved part 1 of Tail Trail. I wonder what Mrs.Yollis’ classroom will come up with. I hope it’s something exciting and unexpected!
Some details that I liked were the detail about the mint smell and the walls getting smoother. I also liked when it said “Uh, I don’t think we’re alone in this tunnel.” whispered Max. “Yeah,I agree” replied Tiffany. And “I was right, we aren’t alone in this tunnel” whispered Max. The detailed and suspenseful language you are using is amazing!
I wonder what the incredible sight is?
Your student,
Joey
PS: I know what they see but I am not going to share it in this comment!
May 18th, 2012 at 7:45 am
Dear Ms Yollis’,
I loved the second part of the story and how it said….
“Step right up, folks! Come and enjoy Franklin’s Fabulous Ferris wheel its the wackiest, most wonderful ride in the world, and I invented it ! ”
I loved that part.
I also liked the part about the two headed monsters.
I can’t Wait to here about part 3
From,
Carly
May 28th, 2012 at 11:39 pm
Dear Mr Salsich and class,
We are a 3/4 Grade in Victoria, Australia and we loved your introduction to the story. We are learning about sizzling starters and we thought you story had a fantstic introduction. It made us want to keep reading.
Olivia could visualise when Max and Tiffany were walking through the tunnel.
Mattie could visualsie when the walls got smoother and cooler.
Lousia could visualise when the rocks started getting wobbly.
How did you come up with your ideas for the story? Did you write a story each and pick the good parts or did you write it as a grade?
We are just beginning to learn about blogging and we can’t wait to read the next part of the story.
From,
3/4M and Miss Jenkins
June 3rd, 2012 at 9:40 am
Dear Mr Salsich and class,
Now “Tale Trail” has been added to by each class, I have been able to look at the overall storyline. I’ve even taken the chance to compile the parts so I can see the story develop. As I read each part, I’ll leave a comment on the various blogs if possible.
Your opening is brilliant and clearly leaves many options for the next class to continue. The illustrations only enhance the experience of your opening.
Now I’m going to read Part 2 from Mrs. Yollis and class to see where the story leads.
Thank you for sharing your part of the story.
@RossMannell
Teacher, NSW, Australia
July 2nd, 2012 at 11:48 pm
Dear Mr Salsich & Class,
We are a class of 27 Year 4 students from Melbourne Australia. We have just started a class blog. We are looking for contacts from around the world to share our learnings and culture. We would like to invite you to visit us regularly and post comments on our class blog:
http://year4henderson.global2.vic.edu.au
With warm regards,
Year 4 Henderson
August 22nd, 2012 at 11:05 am
Hi Mr. Salsich,
It’s Sean and I hope its the longest year of my life! I’m psyched.
From,
Sean
August 29th, 2012 at 4:18 pm
Hi Mr. Salsich,
It’s Ivy and you are the best teacher ever!
I can’t wait for all of the awesome projects that we do!
From,
Ivy
August 30th, 2012 at 10:00 am
Dear Ivy,
Thank you for the compliment! I’m glad you are excited for a great year of learning, I am too!
Your teacher,
Mr. Salsich